Ben and Liz

Comments

1. Jenna - Mon, May 30, 2005 2:43pm

My theory? There was once a missing sock that fell to the dark side of the force and now roams around the dryer – trying to call others the the dark side, and those who refuse… are never seen again.

Just got done watching SW for like the millionth time… so yeah….

2. Ryan - Mon, May 30, 2005 4:25pm

Well, little do people realize that the mechanics of the drying cycle are precisely the same as that of tearing a hole in the space Time continuum, if only for a nanosecond mind you. This brief breach allows the sock to seemingly disappear but in reality move forward in time to reappear in a later dryer cycle. So there’s your answer!!!!

3. Kristina - Tue, May 31, 2005 10:35am

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure that they even make it to the dryer… I’m packing my house to move right now and I’m finding all sorts of random laundry. Maybe I’ll find some friends for the lonely socks…

4. Ben - Tue, May 31, 2005 1:48pm

Out of the wringer, into the dryer
Spins the clothes higher
Squeezing out static and shocks
Little stockings tumbling ‘round together
Couldn’t cling forever
Now I’m missing one of my socks

Lord, where do they go?

One pile waits with their god in a box
The other pile nervously mocks heaven
Misfits lost in the dryer, take heart
Maybe there’s a place up in sock heaven
—Steve Taylor, “Sock Heaven”

5. Heather - Tue, May 31, 2005 8:48pm

The dryer has a little monster (for the sake of naming it, we’ll call it “Frank”) in it that loves to eat socks; the smaller the better. For instance, baby socks are considered a delicacy and are horded and never returned. Occasionally when Frank gets the flu, you’ll get back a sock that you lost months before. Frank doesn’t seem to like my socks much so I also presume that the dirtier socks are better to him as Dan’s filthy work socks not only get eaten but the filth that sticks to them like sawdust and clay gets left behind proving that Frank is certainly not just a random monster that eats anything. When Frank decides that he wants to diet, your dryer poops out and you have to get a new one.
Of course there’s also that conspiracy theory about the dryer and the washer teaming up to assassinate the president…..

6. Mark - Fri, Jun 3, 2005 9:35am

Fine, I’ll let the secret out…

There are no monsters or space-time breaks. I have all of your socks. I’ve been taking them. I’m a kleptosockomaniac. I’m getting help, I promise. If you want your socks back, give me a call at:
1-800-ididntreallytakeyoursockssodontcallthisnumberbutdidyouthinkitwasarealnumberanywayidoubtitbutjustincaseiwantedtowarnyoubecauseitwassupposedtobeafunnyresponsebutnowitsgettingtoolongsoithinkillstophere.